When I Was Little

When I was little, I thought about my future a lot. Like most kids, I imagined the perfect love and the perfect job and the perfect life. And I wanted it with all my heart. I knew how I would live and I was excited for it to begin.

I have not experienced earth shattering love. I do not have an amazing job – in fact, it involves quite a lot of photocopying. I certainly have not sailed through life with tons of friends, good fashion sense, or straight A’s. What I do have is anxiety. I have more curves than I would like. I have frizzy hair and no impulse control. Perhaps ten years ago I would have been devastated.

But, you know what? I also have a large collection of books. I have a family that would conquer the world for me. I have some pretty cool tattoos and good quality rum in the pantry. I’ve watched waves crash against a Greek beach at midnight and held hands with a beautiful woman.

It is not revolutionary that life has not turned out how I planned. I make no claim to some world-changing revelation about such discoveries. I am not the first person who has learned lessons about the way plans and desires change. That does not make it any less life-changing for me.

I do not know what the next ten years will hold, or the ten after that. It might not be what I plan, it might not make sense. And it doesn’t have to. But I do know this: it’s going to be a fucking amazing ride.

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